


Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy

by wedelia



Series: Peter Parker, Decathlete [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Gen, academic decathlon - Freeform, bizarre interview questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11734968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedelia/pseuds/wedelia
Summary: Peter goes through the interview portion of a practice Academic Decathlon meet.





	Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy

    “Hi,” says the interviewer, holding out a hand for Peter to shake. She’s a beautiful woman, probably in her early forties, and when she smiles her eyes crinkle. “I’m Amy.”

    “Peter Parker,” he says, beaming. “Nice to meet you.”

    Ugh. This part of the competition is the _worst_ , except for maybe the impromptu speech. Peter feels horribly self-conscious, like he’s a bug under a microscope. The feeling’s only exacerbated by the suit he’s wearing -- it feels stiff and too small for him now that he’s gained spider-muscle, which is miraculous most of the time but inconvenient when he, you know, wants his clothes to fit.

    Peter pushes his discomfort aside and tries to be charming.

-

    “Tell me a little about yourself.”

    Peter’s internal monologue goes something like: _oh, me? I’m just an unassuming teenager who’s been living a secret double life as the friendly neighborhood vigilante ever since I was bitten by a radioactive spider on a school field-trip._

He obviously can’t say any of that, though. His life is ridiculous.

    “I have an internship at Stark Industries,” he says instead. “And sometimes I take pictures of Spider-Man and sell them to the _Daily Bugle._ ”

    Amy seems interested. “You took those pictures? They’re very high quality.”

    Peter resists the urge to preen. He’s proud of his photos. There’s something satisfying about being able to make a profit off of what are essentially his selfies, especially in the moment after he hands them in to Mr. Jameson and gets to see his bedgrudgingly impressed face. “Yeah. I’ve gotten pretty lucky.”

-

    “What song best describes you?”

    Um. Um. _Um._ Sirens start going off in Peter’s head. _Think of something, Parker,_ he urges himself.

    “Well,” he says, stalling for time. Then, struck by an idea, “I’d like to say that my life is very _All I Do Is Win,_ but in reality it’s more _Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head.”_

    Amy laughs.

    _Nailed it._

_-_

    “Who are you inspired by?”

    Peter considers his options, planning out his strategy like a military tactician preparing to launch an operation. He’d gone over possible answers to this question in practice, of course, but there’s a difference between thinking about what to say and actually saying it.

    He could mention Aunt May, her unwavering support of him that goes far beyond what’s expected of most aunts; he could mention his father’s genetic research and how it piqued Peter’s own interest in science. Both of those would be true.

    But….

    “I’m a big fan of Tony Stark,” Peter says, taking a risk. Mr. Harrington had warned everyone to skirt around any topics that may be controversial, because subjective events like Interview rely on the judge’s own feelings and biases, and Mr. Stark’s past has definitely raised some eyebrows. But Peter figures he may as well be honest. “He’s flawed, but the way he never stops trying to be a better person despite that reminds me what it means to be a hero.”

    From the smile Amy gives him, Peter thinks the risk paid off.

-

    “How’d your interview go?” Ned asks him once they’re both out of their respective interview rooms and have filtered back out into the crowded hallway to meet up with the rest of the team.

    “I think it went okay. What about yours?”

    Ned makes a face. “He asked the weirdest questions, Peter. Like. Do you know what vegetable matches my personality? I don’t.”

    Peter giggles. “ _Really?”_

    Flash comes up from behind them and says, “You’re corn, because of all of your stupid jokes. And Penis Parker is clearly an eggplant.”

    Peter stares at him, horrified.

    Michelle, who snuck up to them at some point, says, “No, Peter’s an onion. His dorkiness makes me cry.”

    “I hate all of you,” Peter declares.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist using this title once I realized it's both an actual song from last year's AcaDeca Music Guide and a pun about the Daily Bugle. Also: good news! I have at least one more one-shot for this series planned :)


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